Stop watering plants in the desert!
If it’s worth it, replant that shit on fertile ground. If it
resists, let it go!
Sometimes we don’t know how to let shit go.
This Weekend’s Page Turner I’ve learned that I need to close
some doors. Nobody has to exit my already isolative life. I’m not going to bury
any love for anyone. I’m not even going to act differently towards people.
This is just what maturity looks like.
I’ve got to be able to accept what was, be more graceful and
merciful towards myself and continue to attract people who are destined to
teach me about me.
There is no initial sense of freedom when you decide to move
into a different space in life. You get very little reassurance that you are
making the right choices. You second-guess yourself. You may even take a few “L’s”
in the beginning.
It’s getting more difficult for me to bounce back from
strained relationships and losing people. I start to look the four fingers
pointing inward as opposed to the single one blaming. I’m starting to question
my former hard stances that were actually a critique of me projected onto
other people.
I’m sorry.
And for any apology that I think I need from others, you’re
forgiven.
I release you from the expectation that the past could’ve been
any different than what it was.
We tend to think that we are moving forward, but we actually
impede progress by replaying still 8mm frames of memories in our heads.
We want to save loved ones from their own destiny. We
continually make excuses for their actions.
We seek to love someone from past hurts.
We secretly think that we are doing them a favor by
remaining a crutch. We really do mean well, but often times it causes us to
settle.
Settling breeds resentment.
Resentment fuels hate.
Hate smothers life.
I’m at the point now where my fuckin’ life matters—both quantity
and quality!
Take a second and reflect on how far you’ve come.
No, really think about all the shit that was said and
prophesied over your path.
Shit’s crazy, ain’t it?
Look at you all breathing and shit. Holding it together by
the fabric of your teeth, but thriving miles away from how bad they said it
would get for you.
Fuck ‘em! By that I mean forgive ‘em.
Stop living to prove someone else wrong.
Change the track of the song that says you need
their approval.
You don’t!
So, I’m telling you, go do something for yourself. Go that
extra mile to love you. It may not even involve money.
My gift to me is this very piece I’m writing.
Go ahead and turn the page, dammit!