Paulo Coelho often writes about Personal Legends, the Soul of the Universe and a need to understand signs associated with fulfilling a Personal Legend. I have long understood one of my life’s goals. I also believed from a young age to be connected to the Universe and all actions have a negative or positive impact on the world. I also believe that I will bear the fruits of earlier days of sacrifice. The times when I wanted to go out and party with friends instead of studying, times when I made the choice to separate me from bad influences and times when it seemed only right to be in solitude. The latter of Coelho’s philosophy is one I am still trying to understand. How are we to know the signs and which ones to follow?
I consider myself a budding journalist and I look for the stories that may have a universal appeal and stories that may be of interest to others. I also search for stories that spark a particular feeling in my soul. In this quest I find it hard to know exactly where to look. In the flurry of the hours that pass how are we to discern the moments that may ignite a glimpse into the start of a creative tale. Does the driver blowing a horn in traffic provide for a piece about road rage? Does the cry of a child signal for an investigative piece about shopping-mall procedures for kidnappings? Does the Taste of Chicago Festival signal for a piece about cheaper ways to sample the delicacies across the city? And if these stories are all plausible then what was the defining moment that sparked the inspiration? Can there really be a moment where we set aside to read the directions so we don’t get lost? I am not growing tired of the challenge, but I grow restless in the uncertainty of things to look for.
Early in my youth I rose to the chirping of the birds and the sun peaking over the horizon. I also remember waking to the sounds of my father at the typewriter from writing a paper all night long. I remember looking up at the ceiling, eyes wide-open, dreaming of what I would one day become. Many occupations crossed my mind: Policeman, fireman, lawyer, doctor and whatever else little boys dream of. Those early-morning visions into the future coupled with the sounds of the typewriter just may have been a sign of things to come.
I can look back and understand what the trials and tribulations of adolescence taught. I can see clearly through the rear view of my life and recognize the route I had taken remained the best route outlined for me, but I long to look ahead. My dreams linger in front of me and I have no desire to continue looking back missing signs that point me forward. Those missed times with family members, regrets of things not said or said, decisions made based on pure emotion and reaction continue to be the bright headlamps that distract me from seeing the signs in front. I appreciate the lessons learned from these experiences and I yearn to take a more pro-active role in my destiny.
I have finally accepted where I am in life. I have finally made peace and accepted who I am. I finally put the childish attitude away, shift the blame from others to myself and recognize the holder of my destiny. But, again, to solely look ahead without a legend to read the signs reminds me of a sailor with no map. What if he gets lost at sea? How does he know where to look—the stars, maybe? How am I to know when it is time to move on from a job or when it is time to seek a new career?
The people that I have approached about the subject of signs only resort to the old cliché of “in time”. But when do I wait and when do I act? And if I come to make a point in my life that opens up more than one option at a particular time, how then, will I decide? I have also heard the cliché of “follow your heart”. This may work for the idealists and romantics and maybe even the fiction writers, but I search for proof, fact and a way to know for sure. I examine things with the scrutiny; dare I say over-analyze. I could quote Renee Descartes, some Chinese proverb or a Buddhist teaching, but it would still leave me wondering what many for centuries have tried to answer. So, I guess at the conclusion of this I will resolve to just live.
I will live to accept my morning dreams and coffee, poetry and incense in the evening hours. I will live to treasure the moments when signs point me in the direction of my dreams. I will only look in the rear view when the situation at hand seems familiar. I will live to accept the challenges of not knowing because no one knows it all anyway. I will live to appreciate the moments like this that lift a weight from my heart and makes my soul smile while believing that I am one step closer to realizing my Personal Legend. The funny thing is that boy in the story that I made the Coelho reference to goes to hell and back only to realize his treasure was buried in the most familiar places. So, I am forced to believe, in order to keep my sanity, that in the end it all works out. It does not work out because of fate or happenstance. It works out because I hold my destiny in my hands and no one else.
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